How to get the most out of your therapy sessions
There are a lot of steps that people take to consider therapy, seek out a therapist and finally show up for therapy.
So, now that you are here, I want to offer some ideas on how to make sure you get the most of it.
Honour your resistance
If you have some resistance about going to your therapy session, it is important to recognize it.
It is a normal part of therapy work; it can be uncomfortable, and we naturally want to avoid uncomfortable things.
Pay attention to the things that may help you address the resistance:
Is it talking to your therapist about what you need more of or less of?
Are you scheduling your sessions at a time that fits well in your day? Or do you feel rushed and not ready?
Are you clear on your therapy goals and the things you want to be working on?
Are you working on things you aren’t ready for, and you would like to shift to something else for a while?
2. Set your goal/intention for the session
Spend a few minutes alone in silence and reflect on what you need out of the therapy session today.
What would a successful session look like for you today?
Reflect on your goals for therapy
Note any topics you want to bring up
Note any tools or strategies you want support with
3. Make yourself comfortable in the session
You don’t have to sit still and make constant eye contact the whole time. You can also ask for exercises, it doesn’t have to be all talking.
4. Speak up
One of the ways you can make sure your therapy session is working for you is to speak up when it is not.
The client-therapist relationship is different from a social relationship. In a social relationship, we are encouraged to be polite and not control the conversation. However, in therapy, you are encouraged to be assertive and speak up:
When your therapist said something that didn’t sit right with you
When your therapist is focusing on a topic you don’t wish to talk about
When a tool or strategy isn’t suiting you
When you notice you are people pleasing or not being honest in session
When you notice you are upset with your therapist
When you want a different approach
Remember, your therapist cannot read your mind and may not know when things aren’t working for you. If you can let them know, you get more value out of therapy.
We call this Feedback Informed Therapy, and it makes therapy most effective for clients.
5. Take a minute to note your takeaways
Therapy can be a lot of talking, but in most every therapy session you will discuss themes, insights and tools/strategies.
It is important to stop and identify your takeaways because you want to make sure you highlight the themes, insights and tools you covered - so you don’t leave feeling like it was just a talking session
Also, you want to be intentional about recapping your takeaways, so you don’t walk out the door and forget everything you discussed.
Don’t rush into the next thing after the session
I often encourage clients to not rush off to the next thing and take a few minutes alone after the session to write out any notes, or use their voice app to record their reflections.
Keep a log
Keeping a bit of a log of your sessions in one place can be helpful to see all you have been working on, and come back to it for reference when you need it.
6. Ask for more resources
If you are working on a topic that you would like more resources on, ask your therapist.
And remember that resources can come in many forms: articles, books, podcasts, youtube videos, worksheets, etc.
Consider what works best for you.
7. Be open and honest
One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to be open and honest in your therapy sessions.
This helps make sure we aren’t just doing ‘surface level’ work. It also makes sure you are giving your therapist all the information they need when they consider what type of therapy and tools will best support you.
If you feel a block with this, you can bring it up with your therapist. It is ok if you don’t feel ready to be open and honest right away, but if you let your therapist know it is a goal for therapy then they can support you with that.
8. Finally, let your therapist know when you need a break
Most therapists will tell you that their door is always open. If you need to take a break, that is always ok.
However, some clients will feel bad that they stopped booking appointments and might not feel like they can return to their therapist. This creates a hurdle of now finding someone new and going through those initial ‘getting to know you’ sessions.
I will tell you, as a therapist, the door is truly always open. So, when you feel like you might not show up for a while, it can help to send a quick note to your therapist and let them know. This helps you maintain a level of contact where it feels comfortable to later return.
