Growing Through Life (How Erikson’s Stages of Development Shape Who We Are)

In the last blog post, I wrote about how our thoughts and beliefs are shaped through our upbringing, our culture and our experiences.

As part of this conversation, I want to talk about the fact that we also experience a pattern in our psychological development.

This is explained well with Erikson’s Stages of Development.

Erikson proposed that our psychological development unfolds in eight key stages, each marked by a critical conflict that must be resolved to move to the next stage.

Here are Erikson’s Stages of Development, what the developmental task is and a self-reflective question for each stage . . . .

1. Trust vs. Mistrust (Infancy 0-1yrs)

The first stage occurs in infancy, where the core challenge is developing trust.

As infants rely entirely on caregivers for comfort and care, they learn to either trust that their needs will be met or feel insecure if their needs are neglected.

A strong foundation of trust builds the virtue of hope, allowing a child to feel safe in exploring the world around them.

How did early caregiving shape your ability to trust others?

2. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (Early Childhood 1-3 yrs)

In early childhood, children begin to assert independence, particularly in areas like potty training and making choices.

If they are encouraged to take initiative and make decisions, they develop a sense of autonomy. However, if their efforts are dismissed or met with criticism, feelings of shame and doubt may arise, impacting their self-esteem and confidence.

Were you encouraged to explore your autonomy or restricted during early childhood?

3. Initiative vs. Guilt (Preschool 3-6 yr)

As children continue to grow, they start exploring their creativity and initiating activities.

This stage is all about the balance between feeling confident in taking action and feeling guilty (or like a nuisance) for making mistakes.

Parents and caregivers who encourage exploration, creativity, and problem-solving help foster a sense of purpose, while over-control or criticism can stifle initiative and breed guilt.

Did you feel supported in your efforts or discouraged during this time?

4. Industry vs. Inferiority (School Age 6-12yr)

During the school years, children face the challenge of mastering new skills and learning to cooperate with peers. We know that peer approval is important to our kids at this age.

Success (in school, with peers, and in other activities) leads to a sense of competence, as they feel capable of achieving goals. However, failure to achieve a sense of competence in an area, meet expectations or peer comparisons may result in feelings of inferiority, which can affect their confidence and motivation.

How did you experience school and other activities growing up?

5. Identity vs. Role Confusion (Adolescence 12-18yr)

Parents often complain about the weird things their teenagers are doing. However, adolescence is a developmental time of self-discovery, where teens explore different roles as a way to develop a sense of personal identity (separate from their parents).

A strong sense of identity provides a clear direction for their future, while role confusion can lead to uncertainty about their place in the world. This stage is crucial in shaping who they will become as adults.

Did you have the ability to explore your identity as a teenager?

6. Intimacy vs. Isolation (Young Adulthood 18-40 yr)

As young adults, the challenge shifts to forming deep, meaningful relationships.

The ability to develop intimate bonds with others fosters a sense of love and connection, while failure to connect with others can lead to isolation and loneliness.

We can often overlook the impact that past relationships have had on us. This includes friendships and romantic relationships.

Successful navigation of this stage helps to build lasting, healthy relationships.

How have your relationships shaped your sense of self and ability to connect with others?

7. Generativity vs. Stagnation (Middle Adulthood 40-65yr)

In middle adulthood, individuals focus on contributing to society and the next generation through work, family, or community involvement.

I work with many moms and find this is often a stage where moms are moving through their hands-on parenting years. As their kids get older, they become more ready to learn and focus on what brings them a sense of purpose and meaning.

They are ready to shed the cultural expectations and rules they have been following. They are ready to pay closer attention to the things that deeply matter to them and how they want to show up in their world. That can include raising children, mentoring others, or producing work that adds value.

Those who fail to feel productive may experience stagnation or a sense of being stuck.

How have you pursued purpose and meaning in this stage of your life?